"I-TO-WE"
Divorce Coaching

A Divorce Coach is a skilled professional trained to assist people in managing a wide variety of emotions and issues that typically arise during a divorce. A Divorce Coach helps people to develop goals, make informed decisions, and communicate effectively in a safe environment where feelings of grief, frustration, resentment, contempt and anger are channeled appropriately.

“I-TO-WE” Divorce Coaching is a unique, innovative and powerfully effective approach for individuals and/or couples facing the many stresses and challenges of separation/divorce.

As a divorce coach, I am passionately and wholeheartedly committed to the following:

1. Married couples in conflict, faced with the difficult decision of whether or not to separate.

2. Separated couples, who are moving towards divorce and wish to either mediate or divorce cooperatively, without the added stress and expense of nasty legal battles.

3. High conflict divorcing couples, who have already filed for divorce and initiated legal proceedings. These individuals often require guidance in managing intense negative emotions and designing a structure to arrive at a workable plan for the future.

4. Divorced individuals, struggling to re-organize and adjust during the post-divorce period. These people learn how to construct emotional boundaries when interacting with their ex and coping with the emotional aftermath following a divorce. They are often faced with dating, re-marriage and blended family challenges as well as supporting their children and moving forward with life.

There is a famous tale of a woman who lifted an entire car to rescue her child trapped underneath- this is the power of a parent’s love for a child. Would you step in front of a bullet for your child or sell your most valuable possessions if it meant saving your child’s life? Most parents would answer an emphatic yes to these questions.

Many couples involved in high conflict divorce are slowly wounding their children emotionally, mentally and spiritually. As father to a teenage son, I speak from experience when I say that a peaceful divorce, characterized by a climate of equanimity, cooperation and dignity, is well worth the added effort and occasional tongue biting required. My son has reaped the benefits of parents who shared a friendly and amicable relationship through the years, with shared holidays and special occasions like birthdays and graduations. He was never torn apart or placed in the middle of intense conflict by angry parents embroiled in a bitter war, like so many children in today’s litigious world must endure.

Don’t all children deserve to grow and prosper in a peaceful family environment, even in cases of separation and divorce? After all, a family never ceases to be a family- the structure and configuration might change as a result of divorce, but these are merely external variables. Emotionally and spiritually at least, the family lives on forever- especially in the hearts and minds of children.

There is no cookie cutter approach to divorce coaching. Every situation is different and each individual/couple face their own unique set of challenges. The “I-TO-WE” Divorce Coaching process is tailored to meet the specific needs of each individual/couple on a case by case basis and there is no time limit to the coaching process. Divorce coaching reaches a natural resolution when individuals feel safe and empowered in a new climate of collaboration and mutual respect.

Exploration and Evaluation
• Learn and understand client(s) story and personal history.
• Evaluate the content and process of their communication patterns and their unique needs, concerns and goals for the divorce process.
• Speak with attorneys to understand the facts of the case.
• When appropriate, consult with mental health professionals.

Commitment to Change
• Define their visions for a peaceful and collaborative divorce.
• Create a plan for positive change, amicable communication and conscious co-parenting.
• Set realistic goals requiring individuals to challenge their own negative assumptions and distorted beliefs about their soon to be ex spouse.
• Define specific ways to be held accountable for following through on commitments, both individually and/or as a couple.

Child Focused Coaching
• Understand the significant negative impact of divorce related conflict on a child’s self-esteem, emotional, academic and social functioning and overall physical/mental health.
• Learn the skills of emotionally intelligent parenting designed to protect children from the negative effects of prolonged, intense conflict.
• Create a list of rules and guidelines for interaction with children.
• Commitments and accountability for follow through are heavily enforced.

Conflict Management Skills
• Challenge negative thoughts and break dysfunctional habits.
• Understand the true source of emotional reactivity and how to decrease it.
• Discover how to manage inner conflict before reacting negatively and contributing to a toxic environment.
• Learn how to release the toxic energy of resentment, contempt and anger.

Communication – Compromise Techniques
• Learn how to have safe, honest, peaceful and respectful discussions.
• Empowers individuals to practice understanding, validation and empathy.
• Identify unsolvable problems.
• Compromise and create a Policy of Mutual Agreement to manage unsolvable problems peacefully.

Relationship Transition and Connection
• Contribute to a working relationship based on mutual respect and collaboration.
• Appropriate and safe boundaries are established and firmly adhered to.
• Mutually respectful guidelines are established to protect the integrity of individuals and the emotional well being of the children.
• The family is reorganized to accommodate the new physical structure; healing begins through a safe and supportive environment.

As a divorce coach, I am devoted to preserving the integrity and well being of the entire family. It is not my role to make custody determinations, evaluate for parental fitness or testify in court. In order to act on behalf of the best interests of the entire family, it is imperative that I remain neutral and not be placed in situations where I am forced to take sides. Finally, I am a coach and not a mental health professional. Therefore, in situations where a psychological evaluation, diagnosis or treatment is indicated, I will consult with a qualified mental health professional and facilitate an appropriate referral.

If you would like to have a FREE 15-minute discovery telephone session to ask questions and explore whether “I-TO-WE” Divorce Coaching is right for you, send me an e-mail at gcohen@itowecoaching.com or call me at 843-852-9828.

• Discover the benefits of Personal Life Coaching

• Learn about Couples Coaching

• See if we can assist you with our Seperation/Divorce Coaching.

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